My work as an LAC and with The Grief Ritual was not on my life bingo card; to be fair, neither was falling in love with the sweet high-school Sophomore who would make me a widow at the age of 26.

The grief that I ran from, that my system couldn’t fathom surviving, has been the most offensive, yet transformative, teacher.

It took a little while years, for me to feel like I found my way, and even longer to name what felt most helpful. It wasn’t any one thing in isolation…it wasn’t just yoga, or just therapy, or just acupuncture, or just somatic breathwork, or just time or just letting myself feel my feelings (the ones I thought would kill me)…but it was all of these things, and more, at various times.

The single most meaningful shift in the way I experienced my grief was the ritual of attuning to my ever-shifting needs.

This became the origin of The Grief Ritual (the ritual IS the attuning).

Can I learn to notice, acknowledge and tend to what I find to me true for myself in this moment? Can I seek/advocate for support? Can I learn to institute boundaries to protect my own needs? Can I communicate what I learn to be true?

The grief experience became a practice of learning to know and love myself, to show myself grace and compassion and to do these things on repeat (and probably forever).

It feels true to me, 13-years into this journey, that (1) grief sucks (2) I accept what has happened AND I will never feel okay about what happened (3) if it had to happen, I am grateful that I have found myself (I never knew this was something I could have access to in this way).

You won’t hear any platitudes from me, it just doesn’t align with my current belief system, but what I will say is, if you are IN IT (iykyk), may you find people that allow you to feel understood, the continuing bonds that bring you closer to peace and the attunement that gives you access to the sacred gift of yourself. : )